I’m Pretty Sure You Left the Stove On

It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: I’m pretty sure you left the stove on.

Me: No I didn’t.

VIT: Mmmm, yeah, pretty sure you did.

Me: Go to sleep.

VIT: In this death trap of a house?

Me: It’s not a death trap.

VIT: Just go check.

Me: No.

VIT: …are you really willing to bet your life on not having turned off the stove?

Me: Yes.

VIT: You always leave things on. Remember the curling iron?

VIT: And the car that one time?

Me: ……

VIT: Are you willing to bet your husband’s life? He’s in the house too.

Me: Yes.


Me: Listen! I didn’t use the fucking stove today. We had lunch at the restaurant and we had dinner at Katie’s house and we had cereal for breakfast and yesterday we were out of town. So if the house was going to burn down, it would have been during the four days we weren’t here, but it didn’t because it’s NOT ON. OK?

VIT: ……

VIT: Yea, I’m still going to need you to check it…

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54 thoughts on “I’m Pretty Sure You Left the Stove On

  1. enniyaya

    And you’re still gonna have to check it xD so funny. So did you check it? I can’t check something just once. I need to check it like I have a nervous tick that won’t let me stop checking, esp when it comes to my bag and keys and the like. I probably look suuuuper sketchy in the mall.
    My fear related to this is… I’m always like… okay, it’s okay, we have carbon monoxide detectors BUT DO THEY FUCKING WORK

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Once, My cat, who would commit prety crimes for a sausage, jumped onto the stove top in order to get at a tray that had been used to cook sausages earlier that eve. However, in the process of being a sausage obsessed greedy guts, she accidentally turned the hotplate on. The hot plate that a wooden chopping board was resting on. I’ve sinced learned to always turn to stove off at the wall.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. The logical reasons why it’s illogical are all there except it ain’t enough for VIT. I’ve got to have some real solid guarantee of danger to get me out of bed once I’m cozy. Looks like we’ll be dying in our sleep brain. Have you tried getting her drunk before bed? That’s probably a whole other set of conversations!

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I hate when that happens. Hubs is more OCD about that stuff though. “Did you turn off the stove? Did you unplug the washing machine and turn off the water? Are all the doors locked? Are the cats locked in a room or are they roaming about the house?” and I’m all “GAAAAAAAH! Can we just LEAVE NOW? PLEASE?”

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Ty for answering 🙂 I am consumed with a vit of my own right now and need to focus:p….maybe you can help?…. when my microwave is finished it says GOOD wth does good mean?!??! I have lime 15 different thoughts on the subject…smh

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hahahah! I always get paranoid when leaving the house for a long trip. Luckily my husband is able to talk me out of going back home 50 times to verify everything is still ok if the voice in my head is too loud.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I get this with locking the front door. I’ve sometimes walked back just to check before I get in my car to go to work. I think I do it so automatically I just don’t notice I’ve done it. It’s a horrible feeling though!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Taylor Weeden

    Love this because this is me Every. Single. Night.
    But also…
    Did I lock the front and back doors?
    Was that a noise I heard?
    Omg, why is the baby monitor shining so bright in my face?

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Lmao ok this is fucking hysterical! This happens to
    Me with candles alllll theeeee damn time!!!!!!! Lol 😂 I’m pretty sure I’ve turned around and gone back home to be sure I blew some candles out! Lol! I love this! What CAN’T you do! You’re my hero!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I (sort of) remember returning to my appartment in Sha Tin, Hong Kong, after a hard days work and an even harder night drinking. I think I decided to make supper! The next morning I awoke at about 6 and could hear a strange noise. I investigated and found that I had left one of the gas hobs on full blast overnight!

    Liked by 1 person

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